I was an active child/ I didn’t run the fastest mile/ But went to basketball practice while/ I grew up: when school finishes I walked home with fish and chips/ Then had my tea, was still thin as shit/ All the chocolates at Christmases: nothing/ My Dad said it wouldn’t last and he wasn’t bluffing/ By the time I was 20 I was putting on stuffing/ Over 30 now and I’m battling the muffins/ Two on the side of me, one by the side of me/ Look at the sight of me, looks like I might have been/ Forced…at gun point…to eat loads/ I look at stuff I used to eat and put on kilos/ So I aim to exercise, cardio, breathing/ If I’ve sat through the day then I’ll start in the evening/ Sometimes, just getting off my arse is achievement/ No matter what I’m doing, I’d rather be eating// CHORUS I try to ignore it – think of summat to do/ But at the end of the day I just want some food/ Try to suppress it, have a drink of my juice/ Dehrydrated or do I… just want some food?/ Beef done to blue, beans, buns and soup/ Greased onion loops, cheese, mutton stew/ These crumbs’ll do…I just want some food// I’m not a weight watcher I enjoy the sins/ And I’m too skint to ever join a gym/ Cos once they got your cash you can avoid ‘em then/ Lose pounds while gaining them, annoying innit?/ Flippin’ metabolism…/ When I was a kid, all the fat went missing/ Now I can collect it in a standard sitting/ And have to work it off with some exercise/ Apparently running is the best for time/ Half hour, 500 calories, you make up after/ That’s the equivalent of four bacon rashers/ Bread takes you past that as you make a sandwich/ And that’s just a snack before the main attraction/ Considered trying to suppress my appetite/ …and not eat anything after nine/ But so far…I never last the night/ Wake up dreaming of eating my bastard wife!…// CHORUS I try to ignore it – think of summat to do/ But at the end of the day I just want some food/ Try to suppress it, have a drink of my juice/ Dehrydrated or do I… just want some food?/ Pizzas for two, each one for you/ Peas someone grew, I need something soon/ These crumbs’ll do…I just want some food// I guess the moral of the story is you’re not alone if you’re the kid/ Who stuffs their face in boredom then rings up and places orders/ For a couple plates of korma and some butter based tandoori/ With a bunch of mates who sort of, don’t quite, finish all their plate/ So you look at them all awkward cos you’re not too full to force some/ Extra curry down your jaws and rub your tummy say it’s awesome/ Call a guy and maybe score some, roll a blunt and share a portion/ Then get up and take a short run to the Co-Op for some cake/ Cos cake, is the best thing on the planet/ And I make a mean lemon drizzle goddamnit/ This is a piece of white chocolate that I didn’t deserve/ That pain during exercise drives me flippin’ berserk/ I’ve been playing 5-a-side and I’ve bin on a bike/ Go for a run twice, even indoor climb/ Give it a go though I’m shite cos despite my height/ I have trouble lifting one body plus all the pies// CHORUS I try to ignore it – think of summat to do/ But at the end of the day I just want some food/ Try to suppress it, have a drink of my juice/ Dehydrated or do I… just want some food?/ I need some to chew, sheep: lambs or ewes/ In leaves of bamboo, cheap Asda choux/ These crumbs’ll do…I just want some food//