I don’t do normal gigs/ ….I do awkward gigs/ …I do Yorkshire gigs/ You can guarantee that it’s not my sort of shit/ But I still drag myself up out of my comfort zone cos I love my home/ Gripping tight to the dice till it’s right for another roll/ Cos two things can happen once I exit my safe place/ Summat good, or summat bad will take place/ Cos I dunno if you didn’t know but I’m little known/ So promoters booking me aren’t guaranteed a ticket sold/ Hard sell for them and a hard sell for me/ Trying to hustle online with the heartfelt-est tweet/ Most people don’t go to gigs….even if it’s free/ And rap is so rarely right live, the reasons tend to be:/ Bad sound, bad mic technique, bad acoustics/ And sound guys that know what they’re doing are mad elusive// I don’t do normal gigs/ ….I do awkward gigs/ Where I support some dick/ Whose online presence is glorious/ And he can chuck a couple crumbs from the table to the promotion disabled/ Cos I’m not able to drum up the same interest/ And support slots were once a sure shot/ Nowadays groups opening up for big artists will invest/ Buy onto the tour, it might open the door/ While I hope for applause from my localish audience/ And every gig is always on some awkward shit/ The money’s crap, timing’s change, sound is awfulness/ “Oh watch out for the the mic lead mate it’s a bit dodgy” – course it is/ …The headliner wants to go on before I spit/ So they can get their money and call it quits/ Cos this venue’s not designed for rap performances// I don’t do normal gigs/ ….I do awkward gigs/ I do warm up gigs/ And act like I motherchuffin’ tore that shit/ Day after I’m on Twitter and Instagram like the flippin’ man:/ “Bigup to this and that, last night was the friggin’ jam”/ Rappers are always buzzing after gigs, it was probably lame/ Trying to find a pic where you can’t tell nobody came/ How do you make a room of twelve people look busy/ When DJs check their emails and play a whole city?/ Hundreds of people packing in to dance/ To summat they’ve listened to for years, man I understand/ That’s why old bands are killing it/ We all love the familiar/ Still touring stadiums with albums from last millennium/ …Give the new guy a look-in/ “What’s he cooking?”/ A track about how his gigs are crap/ “Fuck him”// I don’t do normal gigs/ I do boring gigs/ 8 acts on, doors at 6/ By 9 even the promoter starts to snore and shit/ There’s a few people with pints/ A few here for the night/ But they’ll speak all the time that you speak on a mic/ To me, yeah that’s alright/ But see what is the point?/ Buy a record at the door – go home to your life/ But playing live does have its good sides/ And it’s always when the audience is having a good time/ Just right, sound and mic’s cool, good level in the monitors/ And everyone’s bopping along solidly to your offerings/ And probably the reason I’m so down on it/ Is cos the amount I’ve done where the sound is shit/ Go to Northamptonshire, Corby town for gigs/ Cos time and time again man the crowd is sick// But mostly I don’t do normal gigs/ I don’t get booked for the awesome gigs/ How can I talk to the audience/ …When there’s four of em?/ I don’t do normal gigs/ I do awkward gigs/ I don’t do normal gigs//